


Therapy

by Teenwolfbean



Series: The Nightmare Chronicles [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anchors, Caring Liam Dunbar, Cute Liam Dunbar, Dysfunctional Family, Established Relationship, Family Drama, Forgiveness, Good Theo Raeken, Healing, Hugs, Kissing, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken - Freeform, Love, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Pack Bonding, Pack Dynamics, Scents & Smells, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Therapy, Thiam, Worried Liam Dunbar, theo x liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 11:06:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19424704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teenwolfbean/pseuds/Teenwolfbean
Summary: In which Liam convinces Theo that he needs to speak about his nightmares, and Theo has a small breakthrough.





	Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Plz be nice (again)
> 
> And it´s part of a series:
> 
> Short stories of Theo´s journey toward forgiveness and the growing love between two stupid super-natural boys / Or one shots based on Theo´s experiences with nightmares and self-hatred and how he deals with that while falling in love with Liam.

A raindrop slid down the window, slowly; a remain from the night´s storm, resting on the glass. Theo fixated his eyes on it, tracing I down to the windowsill, where it joined a small puddle. Outside the curb was covered in rotten leaves and grey snow; a reminder that summer, in fact, was far away. A young child was wandering around in the sleet, smirking at his tired mother, almost as if he knew she would be the one to wash his clothes. Theo gave the boy a wave, a sing of support of the beginning rebellion, recalling what it was like to be that age.

“Theo Raeken?” A shrill voice snapped him back into reality.

His hand slid from Liam´s as he got up to follow the woman. Liam offered a smile of support which he didn’t return, his thoughts still elsewhere.  
The room was bright, sun rays peeking through the large windows. Theo blinked slowly, skimming the room. Posters decorated the walls; werewolves with their claws and fangs out, anger management guides, and breathing exercises.

“So, Theo,” the woman stated, “I´m Dr. Ross.” She stuck her hand out to shake his.

Theo took it hesitantly, her handshake was firm and short, suggesting that she indeed was a professional. 

“I see you’ve been having nightmares for a while. You feel like talking about that today?” She continued. 

Theo let out a huff. He ran a hand through his hair, anxiety spreading in his chest. 

“So how much does a werewolf therapist make. I mean, is California filled with tortured puppies?” 

Dr. Ross laughed, she reached for a small pad and pen lying on the table between them She had scars on the inside of her hand, claw marks, it looked as if she had pierced her skin countless of times. 

“I´m not a werewolf therapist, dear,” she raised her eyebrows, “I´m a psychiatrist for supernatural beings and their family and friends if they are involved. As you may know, it´s not always easy to control one´s powers. Plus, it can be tricky to navigate in the supernatural world, which is where I come to the rescue.” She smiled at the last part, leaning back against her chair. “But this isn’t about me, Theo.”

Theo tapped his foot against the floor, following the rhythm of his heartbeat. He didn’t want to be here, the air in the room was thick, his lungs burned in his chest, desperate for air.

“I´m just here to make someone happy,” Theo mumbled.

Liam had suggested that he see someone ever since he had opened up about his years with the dread doctors and his time in, well, hell. He had dismissed the worried boy countless times, but then the panic attacks had worsened and started happening during the day. Theo had finally said yes when Liam had cried after one of Theo´s really bad panic attacks, the guilt eating him away.

“So why would that someone like you to see me?” Dr. Ross asked him, sipping a cup of coffee. 

The cup left rings on the small table, and Theo traced them with his fingers.

“There was an incident, don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Well you´re paying me to listen, so sitting here in silence wouldn’t be ideal for you.” Her voice was strict, but she winked at him, earning a slight smile from the boy. 

Theo let out a long breath and sat up in the chair.

“I have these panic attacks, usually when I´m asleep, but they’ve gotten a bit more frequent I guess.”

“Do you have any idea why that maybe?” Dr. Ross continued, trying to catch Theo´s eyes, “Any particular reason?”

Theo thought about it, how Liam´s pack had gone away to college, and the town had been too quiet. It seemed almost wrong for the town to run itself, no reckless high schoolers saving it every other day. When he had first gotten back, he hadn’t had the time to think about his rather terrifying experience underground, there had been so much to do. The whole “ghost riders deleting everyone from the face of the earth” had seemed more prying than his personal problems. Then he was all wrapped up in his feeling for Liam and falling head over heels for the young beta, only feelings of nervousness and excitement making his heart race. 

“Guess it´s been quiet, more time to think,” Theo concluded, meeting the woman´s 

“Quieter?” She encouraged him to continue

“I mean, my life has always been kinda chaotic, I haven’t exactly had much time to think about the stuff I´ve done.”

Images of his sister flashed before his eyes; the cold, cold water making her lips blue, the darkness of the lake pulling her in; her voice sore and small as she called out his name. He saw her often, like that: the Tara he knew before hell. The Tara right before she stopped being alive before his heart had beaten for the last time in her fragile body. He saw whitening white flowers surrounding her equally white skin, how it had looked like snow falling around her, warning her of what was to come. He wondered if she believed, in those last moments, that he would save her. Shame was eating him alive lately as if hell had unlocked something within him as if he hadn’t been able to access his feelings before he went down. Perhaps it was seeing her; the open ribcage of a young girl showing him over and over what he had truly done. The reality of his past hunted him, especially when he was asleep, his subconsciousness having free rein in his dreams. 

“Um,” Dr. Ross crossed her legs as she scribbled away, “and you mentioned a certain incident?” She asked carefully.

“Yeah. I kinda,” Theo bounced his legs anxiously, “I- I sorta went into a real cold lake in the middle of the night. I mean - I mean, I was drunk and all, but it scared someone.”

Dr. Ross showed no signs of shock or surprise, she just continued to write things down as she listened.

The night was a bit of a blur, to be honest. He remembered the feeling of the freezing water, re-membered staring at the bridge he had stood upon many years earlier, imagined someone watching him slowly fade into the water. The droplets kissing his skin gently, small cold reminders that he was still alive. He had been so very cold, almost unconscious when he heard Liam scream his name, felt multiple pairs of arms lift him from the water. He remembered wanting to stay in the water, to no longer feel the heart beating in his chest, a heart he couldn’t call his. 

Theo´s head was aching, throbbing from holding back tears. 

“What´s going through your head right now Theo?”

And then he couldn’t stop it. His thoughts were cars racing by in his mind, he couldn’t hold to them any longer, couldn’t reach for them and lock them away. It felt as everything inside him was growing as if he had no space at all, no air, no warmth, no nothing. Only the tightness in his chest and the dryness in his mouth. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he spoke, his voice cracking slightly.

“The worst part is,” he said, slowly, “it that it didn’t feel bad at the time. It felt - it felt almost as if I was doing the right thing. Like I was supposed to be doing it. I mean that’s so messed up.” 

He blinked furiously. He wiped a tear from his cheek in an angry gesture, letting out a breath as he did. 

“What didn’t feel bad?” 

Dr. Ross seemed confused by his sudden change in attitude, desperately trying to understand what Theo was telling her

“I had a sister, you know before I was raised by dread doctors.” 

Theo sniffed; his eyes slightly red from the tears still forming in his eyes.

“And before I used to blame them. I would just tell myself that they forced me to do it, that they wanted her gone and I didn’t, but it wasn’t completely true. “

Theo felt sick; he was disgusted with himself, for thinking the things he did, and more than anything, for saying them out loud, yet he continued.

“I was jealous of her. She didn’t have asthma. She had a billion friends and plenty of possibilities. And I - I fucking took them all away from her, my fucking sister.”

“Feelings of jealousy aren’t evil feelings Theo,” Dr. Ross pointed out, “Could you please explain what exactly happened? I am a bit lost here I must admit.” She offered him a tight, toothless smile.

Then he spoke to her of the dread doctors, of dark endless hallways and scalpels piercing his skin. He spoke of his peers outside the windows, living a life so far from his that he could barely imagine what it was like. He told her about the asthma attack during classes, about his lungs being ripped from his body over and over, as wasn’t he meant to live. He spoke of Tara. The beautiful, perfect sister he would never reach, how the dread doctors had explained that she wanted him, had offered him her heart. How he wasn’t completely sure it was true; if she would live when he stole her heart. How he had watched her freeze anyway, watched them carve her heart out and felt it in his chest. The heart he felt every minute of every day, making him wish to rip it out and hand it back to the girl from his nightmares.

“You ought to remember that you were a child, that you were manipulated into during these evil things, Theo. It does not necessarily make you evil now.”

“I guess I just wanted to be numb for a while, to not feel all these unfamiliar things, to not be so goddamn scared.”

At times Theo felt like the raindrops on the windows; constantly in downfall. He felt rather out of place often, as if he wasn’t real. He would sometimes view himself from above; his voice stinging in his ears. It had been like that at the lake, floating, his body unattached from his mind. Rings forming from his body, the water and him in symbiosis with the crisp winter air. He imagined diving into the dark water, melting away in a different world.  
He had done that as a kid before everything happened, put his head underwater in the tub until his lungs screamed for air. He would drown out the sounds of his house; the doors creaking, his parents´ tired voices bickering in the living room. 

“We do that,” Dr. Ross told him, “escape our bodies. It´s a kind of coping mechanism.”

“We?” Theo asked her

“We. Humans”

Theo let out a breath, shaking his head at the woman. Dr. Ross smiled big, tapping her pen against the notepad.

“So, where do you feel content in your body, Theo?”

Theo leaned back in his chair, his eyes avoiding the psychiatrist as he thought. Liam came to his mind, images of the boy running through his mind. He thought about the room they had been forced to share, after Liam´s mother had found Theo sleeping in his truck. How their smells now were mixed, clinging to Theo´s clothes were ever he went. 

“I feel good around Liam, the “someone” who asked me to go here.”

“And who is he to you?”

“My boyfriend.”

Dr. Ross scribbled something on her little block and sent him a bright smile. Theo felt his cheeks heat up, feeling rather weird speaking of Liam to a stranger.

“It is so very important to have supportive people in life,” she started, “and though he sounds like a total keeper, what I would like us to work moving forward, is feeling content on your own. To practice some self-compassion and forgiveness.”

“Moving forward?” Theo raised his eyebrows, a confused look forming on his face.

“Yeah, I would like you to come back next week, dear. I think we have more to speak about and time´s up.” 

She grabbed a small calendar from her drawer and flipped through it.

“I have a few appointments next week, but you can just call here, and we will figure something out.”

She stuck her hand out for Theo to shake, and he took it, still a bit confused as to what exactly he was supposed to do with himself.

“Call as soon as possible and I´ll see you soon.” She said, shaking his hand.

A few patients sat in the waiting room, occupied with their phones or anxiously bouncing their legs. He looked back at the window, the droplets had vanished from the window, eaten up by the midday sun. His mouth was almost numb when he made it outside, his eyes burning as he stepped into the fresh air. Yet he felt lighter; as if Tara had loosened her grip on his heart, her fingers no longer digging into his chest painfully.  
Liam stood leaned against Theo´s truck, sun rays dancing over his face. Theo reached for him, bur-ring his head in the shorter boy´s shoulder. 

“How´d it go?” Liam´s voice was sweet and gentle.

“It was okay,” mumbled Theo into his sweater. 

Liam placed a lingering kiss to Theo´s neck, sending warmth through Theo´s body. They stood there for a while, breathing each other in. Theo began to feel exhausted, leaning his weight against Liam, almost melting into him. He felt like sleeping for hours like he had let all his energy flow out with his words.

“You think you´ll go again soon?” Liam asked, rubbing circles on Theo´s back with his hand.

“Yeah,” Theo whispered, “I think I will.”


End file.
